spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize