Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
My day in three words: secret purse cake
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
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