Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?