My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
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halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
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Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
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