U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
