my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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