Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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