I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
