Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
