Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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