its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Randomize