Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
