can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize