she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
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pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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