I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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