Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
did you just send me my own nude
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
