next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize