you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
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It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
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I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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