dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
My life is pants optional.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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