I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
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Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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