he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
