I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize