i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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