Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
