If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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