i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.