Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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