I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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