oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
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