Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
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