I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
