i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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