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• (586): View more from Michigan

  if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.

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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.

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• 

  21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (208): View more from Idaho

  please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.

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• (817): View more from Texas

  Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.

  (1-612): View more from Minnesota

  Are you really alive right now?

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• (662): View more from Mississippi

  Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now

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• 

  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.

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• (972): View more from Texas

  I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.

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• (352): View more from Florida

  Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  I'm super disappointed in my clit.

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.

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• (915): View more from Texas

  Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach

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