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• (706): View more from Georgia

  Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.

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• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"

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• (928): View more from Arizona

  Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.

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• (310): View more from California

  Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.

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• (407): View more from Florida

  Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.

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• (646): View more from New York

  Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.

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