Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
