It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
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and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
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My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
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