Umm I'm too high to move.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
