Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
