I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
