Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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