I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
