This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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