There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN