His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
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He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
My liver just had a heart attack.
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its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..