So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.