What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I'm sobbing to NWA
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...