I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
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She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
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You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
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