Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
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