Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize