he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow