I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
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No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
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Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.