tell your sister to shave her snatch
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels