Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way