it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.