Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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