you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
He has the fingertips of a God
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize