So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Locals Wish Tourists Would Stop Doing These 27 Things
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's