you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots