My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
