The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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